For parents

Understanding your child’s feelings and behaviour

Tantrums, fears and saying “no” are a normal part of growing up. Daily time together, praise and a routine help. Hitting and shouting do not.

Written by Anwesha's parents, from the sources at the end of this page

What is normal at each age?

1 to 2 years	Wants to do things alone. Often says “no”.
1½ to 5 years	Tantrums are normal.
Childhood	Fear of the dark, or of being away from a parent, is common.
10 to 13 years	Wants privacy. Pushes against rules.
14 to 17 years	Argues more. Feels more pressure from friends.

All children misbehave sometimes, more when they are tired, hungry or afraid.

What helps my child behave well?

Spend time alone with each child every day, even just 20 minutes. It makes children feel loved and safe.
Praise what your child does right.
Say what to do, not only what not to do: “Please put your clothes away”, not “Don’t make a mess”.
Keep a few clear rules that stay the same.
Keep a daily routine. It helps children feel safe.
Name the feeling: “You are upset.” Listen, and comfort your child.

What can I do when I feel angry?

Pause for 10 seconds. Breathe in and out slowly five times.
Use a small, calm consequence. When it is over, give a fresh start, and praise the next good thing.
During a tantrum, keep your child safe. Comfort them after it ends.

Does hitting or shouting work?

No. Hitting harms a child’s body and mind, and makes behaviour worse over time. Even a light slap counts. Shouting, threats and shaming also harm. In India, the law forbids physical punishment and mental harassment of children aged 6 to 14 in school.

What if my child has autism?

A meltdown is not naughty behaviour. It is a reaction to too much: noise, change, worry, or not being able to say something.
During a meltdown, give a quiet, safe space and time to recover.
Keep routines. Tell your child about changes as early as you can.
A picture timetable shows what is happening now and what comes next.
Some children react very strongly, or not at all, to sound, light, smell or touch. Lower the light and noise when you can.

What about my own stress?

Feeling stressed is normal. Look after yourself, so you can look after your child. Find someone to talk to. Tele-MANAS is a free government helpline, open day and night: call 14416 or 1-800-891-4416.

When should I get help?

Your child is very sad or withdrawn for more than two weeks.
Sleep or eating changes a lot.
Problems are strong, do not go away, and get in the way of home, school or play.
Your child acts younger after a big change, for more than 2 or 3 weeks.
Your child loses words, or stops playing with people. See a doctor soon, even without a big change.
Your child hurts themselves, or talks about suicide. If your child is badly hurt or in danger, go to the nearest hospital at once. Then call Tele-MANAS on 14416.

Start with your child’s doctor. Government mental health care is also at the district hospital.

How do I protect my child from bullying?

Many children do not say they are bullied. Watch for changes in mood.
Tell your child it is not their fault. Ask the school about its bullying rules.
If it happens online: reassure your child, block the sender, do not reply, and save the message.
Children should never share their address or phone number online.
Report online abuse to the government’s cyber crime portal, or call 1930.

Cyber crime reporting portal (opens in a new tab)

Questions parents ask

Is it okay to slap a child once in a while?

No. World health experts say even a light slap harms children and does not improve behaviour.

My child has a meltdown in public. What should I do?

Keep your child safe, find a quieter place if you can, and give time. A meltdown is not naughtiness.

Is Tele-MANAS free?

Yes. Call 14416 or 1-800-891-4416, at any time of day or night.

Where this comes from

Checked on: 22 October 2026

This page is general information, not medical advice. Every child is different.

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